How To Be A More Positive Mom
As a mother, remaining calm in times of chaos can be a daunting task. However, if I lost my cool every time my house turned into a zoo, I’d be a crazy woman pretty much 99 percent of the time, and negativity would fill the air in my household. And that’s just no fun! Even as I sit here writing this, there is a playful pandemonium going on in the next room. Positivity plays a huge role in the development of learning, growing and our relationships. So it’s imperative to model an upbeat attitude towards our children. Here are some things I’ve learned that have helped me become a more positive mom.
Spoiler alert, the most important thing to do is remember how much you love your children. Showing them unconditional love is by far the most impactful thing you can do to be more positive.
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First thing is first. Setting boundaries for you children can greatly impact the way they respond to different situations. This in turn makes your life easier because they know what you expect from them. It’s not always guaranteed to work in your favor because let’s face it, kids can be unpredictable, but it definitely lays the ground rules. It can be more work in the beginning however you’ll most likely be rewarded later on. So TRY not to stress when you have to tell your kid 10 times to pick up their toys or put their cup in the sink.
Allow Them To Be Kids
If I’m being honest, there are days my kids drive me absolutely bonkers. With all their energy and always moving and shaking. I think it’s pretty fair to say we all feel this way sometimes. On those days, I have to remind myself that they’re kids! Of course they’re going to have pent up energy that they need to get out. Instead of letting my own frustration get in the way, it’s better to just put them in a fixed environment (usually outside) where they can let it all out and get crazy. Every time I do this, I immediately feel a sense of relief, which in turn gives me a more positive vibe. So next time you’re having a day and they’re all over you, trying to get you to entertain them, just let those little people be free and breathe a sigh of relief.
Don’t Let Your Emotions Get The Best of You
I’ve been there. You’re driving in your car, maybe sitting in backed up traffic, and your kids are bickering in the back seat or screaming at the top of their lungs. You ask them nicely, “please calm down, or please be quieter” Next thing you know, 15 minutes later, they’ve leveled up the volume and your head is about to explode. I’ve learned that losing my cool is never helpful. It doesn’t change the situation at all. If anything, it makes it worse.
Instead of letting your stress get the best of you, try to talk to them by distracting them with conversation or a game. If it continues, try and pull over and tell them there’s consequences for their actions. If that doesn’t help, ignore them until you get to your destination and just turn the radio up! With your music of choice, of course! Letting your emotions get the best of you will only break their spirit and ruin your day. And is it really worth having an entire crappy 24 hours when you could have turned up the radio and rocked out to a little RiRi?
Sometimes we all just need someone to listen. That goes for kids too. A lot of times when my kids are starting to act a fool, it’s because they need more of my attention. Just like you and me, they want to be heard. So a good way is to just be there for them and let them express themselves. Let them lead and really get in tune with what they’re saying.
My older son was a late bloomer when it came to speech. Despite speech therapy, and daycare to help him engage with other kids, he really didn’t start developing his vocabulary until he was about 3. He could talk, but he didn’t understand how to express himself correctly and would get extremely frustrated when I didn’t understand what he was saying. Once I realized that he knew exactly what he wanted to say, just didn’t know how to say it, I changed my behavior. And it made a WORLD of difference for both of us. Instead of me trying to talk him through it, I started just listening and letting him lead the conversation. We would eventually get on the same page and there was a completely different vibe to our interactions. I truly believe that me changing my behavior gave off a more positive energy and is what helped him catapult his speech to the next level and now, he’s my little chatterbox!
Let Them Take Chances
Being a parent is terrifying but letting your kids explore and take chances is going to lead to more confidence. It allows them to grow as humans and let’s them know you believe in them. Which leads to a happier healthier relationship.
Give Yourself Some Alone Time
Allowing yourself the chance to relax and feel refreshed makes an unbelievable difference in the energy we give off. If you start to feel overwhelmed and can’t shake the feeling (see my post on “Signs You Have Mom Exhaustion”) you need to take a time out. It’s good not only for you but the whole family benefits from a happy mama. The whole energy can change in a household if your vibe is off. So know when to ask for your help and pour some wine, run a bath, throw in a bath bomb and get your relax on.
Show Some Love
Last but certainly not least, show your love. This is the most crucial thing for you and your kids. There’s nothing that can compare to you showing them how much you adore them, no matter how crazy they make you sometimes. They’re your people. I know If i’m having a bad day, all my sons have to do is come up to me, give me a huge and look up at me with their big doey eyes and tell me they love me. Then it’s over, negative energy gone! The same goes for them. Think about the relief they feel when you give their boo boo a kiss. Most of the time that boo is immediately gone. Or at least has a huge improvement.
Showing them you adore them, will stay with them a lifetime and mold the relationships they have later on in life. Something that detrimental isn’t to be messed with. So let them know they’re your world and watch yours, and their positive energy soar.
- Set Boundaries
- Allow Them To Be Kids
- Don’t Let Your Emotions Get The Best of You
- Really Listen
- Let Them Take Chances
- Give Yourself Alone Time
- Show Them Love
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